I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
