dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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