I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Damn victory sex feels great
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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