I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
