Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
