just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
