Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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