didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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