I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
