I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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