never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
