My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
