can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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