the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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