having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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