the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you inspire me to be a worse person
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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