Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
