Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
