U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
