Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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