Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize