your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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