i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
