awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I met the friendliest cop last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
