ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
