so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
