I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
