I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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