I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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