I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
