worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
