After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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