Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
