Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
