Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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