I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
