question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
