I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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