Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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