i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
