I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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