I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
