Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You did what with his pubic hair?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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