walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
