Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
