so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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