??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
