so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
