Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize