I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
