I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
