belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize