Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We smell like vodka and hangover
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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