Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
