Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
