fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
