I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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