is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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